The Onion

” The Onion” a satyrical magazine just printed an article about no more Catholic Priests being allowed in Hell. Regardless of a stance or side taken, this is the greatest portrayal of Satan I’ve seen in some time. (I just noticed that satyr is the beginning of satyrical. Hummm.)

Illustration from Dante's Inferno

The article reads that the 9th ring of Hell (according to Dante of course) is become so crowded as to make further accommodations impossible. Further, the Father of Evil declared, the Catholics (Priests) rather creep him out. He says they are seriously messed up and unrepentant.

Apparently too much for the Rebel of Heavenly Powers who himself was kicked out of the Palace of Opulence. But for Pride, not incest. Hence his undeniable belief in his superiority over the Princes of Greed and “odorous foul-smelling rot.” They are stinking up Hell.



And last night
because I’ve been struggling
with pain
and cannot walk

the nightmares take the form
of visions and
I welcome them with
my other self

And last night
it was the Devil
with the name of
(which he prefers by the way)
who is angry for being
blamed when he
says he is not stupid
so how could he
why would he
damn humans

And I saw colors
that are not there
and cannot be described
but Satan was 4 dimensional
and in the center mostly
black while
all around him flamed
those colors so brilliant
and transforming
that we knew to touch
them was impossible
even in winter with
its white longing there

And last night
I cried when he left
and my other self
laughed and laughed