Quotes to like or puzzle over: “There comes a time when you realize that everything is a dream, and only those things preserved in writing have any possibility of being real.” ― James Salter, All That Is
Some few notes on today. For a while. First, as spiders are part of my totem, I couldn’t pass this by. It was posted by “The Fabulous Weird Trotters and noted as· Camera Flash on a Spider Web Isn’t this an all time gorgeous?
Today I took Zeus (the cat) out for a bit of a walk. He’s slowly learning to tolerate the harness, not the leash so much. Anyway, he was out for a while. He is such a smart cat. I got a Christmas mouse for both him and Lisa Fig (one each) and they both adore them. Zeus brings his back for me to throw it for him. I become tired of this way before he does. The game could go on for hours.
I now have a cat on Prozac. No lie. This should be something to be ashamed of if it weren’t so funny. It does calm LL cool Fig down to the point where she is not so freaked out by Zeus’s very presence in the place. At least she has stopped hiding. And she does have her own sub-leased apartment as in my bedroom with bath and tub for her necessaries. Also a changing area and closet. Though she does not wear any clothes and doesn’t change anything.
I have been thinking and dreaming of Joel so much. One dream was so real that I actually said to myself that it was so nice for what was happening to be real and not a dream.
Sometimes cleaning and arranging and fixing are such lovely things to be doing. Comforting. Enjoyable. Once upon a time that could not be imagined. I think it has to do with your happiness. Your peace and being in the right place for the time that it is. It is this time now. And now I’m going back to cleaning. 42
I dreamed of Lilith again last night. In the waking times I’m always surprised that this has happened. Why do I think and dream of her so often? It seems there must be a significance to her though I cannot dredge it up. It was such a lovely connection, and maybe that is it—about connecting. And I note that connecting is quite different than being anchored, for I am well anchored here, in this place where I live.
Lilith the Black Widow Spider with her egg sack
In the dream I was surprised to see her again, walking toward me in firm little steps (not at all the scrambling movements of spiders in the real.) She wanted to know why I was surprised and I couldn’t answer her because in that moment I no longer was. That’s such a fine thing about dreams—wherein you only begin to think a thing and it is. Additionally there is no becoming, only being.
When she came to live with me in Colorado it was such a special time. We waited daily for the birth of her children, waited together. After they were born she moved on. I was so honored to have her in my life, in the sojourn there, in that courtyard, in that place. Maybe her visits only mean to be a reminder, a reminder of the wonderful places we have been.
New Spider: This little darling is a newly discovered Eriovixia gryffindori which is named after something to do with the Harry Potter series. A sorting hat. As an aside, am I the only one in the world who has neither read the books nor seen a movie of the famous character? And aren’t spiders and bugs just marvelous? Spiders are part of my totem and they speak—whisper—secrets to me. This guy looks like a dried leaf and is most difficult to spot when he hides amongst them.