“Note this before you note my notes, there’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.” ~ Much Ado About Nothing ~ Wm. S.
I finally got myself to the swimming pool. The one over in Seven Hills because they are replacing the building in Broadview Heights. I have no idea why I was struggling so to get there. An oversimplified fear of the unknown? A left-over fear from childhood? The one where you go in and do something incredibly wrong within the social norms of that place and are ever after known as the “newone” or names much worse. Ostracized by the fact of not knowing and therefore stupid. Children rarely allow for outside effects and circumstances; they are judges of the now. The right now, in black and white. (Maybe children should be the only juries we have.) That all seems silly to me. And yet—is fear, hidden to the self, why we call ourselves lazy?
But here’s the funny thing, the reason I noted the swimming pool visit: I got a sunburn, and it’s an indoor pool.
After the pool, I went to one of my favorite eating places which is right in front of the community center, Eddie’s Pizzaria. My intention was to get a martini and a salad. Yeah, right. I wasn’t craving pizza and I’m on a semi-successful diet. (Worth noting is that the swimming suit, once a struggle to put on, is now too big.) I managed the part of the intention that involved the martini. For desert I had one of those small fry-pan-looking things filled with a very large and warm chocolate chip cookie garnished with two large scoops of vanilla bean ice cream. It is decadent. deliciously decadent. I left not a crumb behind. This all leads to the subject of Will Power.
Will Power. First cousin to Free Will. If there is such a thing. (Some argument ensues in my mind. If there’s such a thing as my anything at all.) Staying with the subject of Will Power, among many other things there is more than one school of thought. The most recent propaganda espousing the limits of Will Power is the replenishing of same. Namely, Will Power is not strengthened by use, rather is run out by continual use. In order to replenish, one must refrain from all of that use. Just what constitutes over use is unknown. Unfortunately I must have run out of Will Power just after leaving the pool. That’s what I get for using up all that Will Power to get to the pool.
And I don’t know how to replenish this Will Power. Just how long must I refrain from using it? I want to know. Right now I am practicing disuse of Will Power. Wait, wait!…Doesn’t that call for Will Power?